yet again, this stirring
in my gut
how to belong?
the question echoes forth
black charcoal, rocks
an ancient audience
amphitheater arch
they're witnessing my calling
my be-longing
the brisk wind answers
with the lapping water
onto my shores
into my bones
it seeps
I reach backward
with me left arm
for her graceful silhouette
grasping air
I bring her forward
to my chest
gasp, then sigh
my precious one
you are weary and tired
removing cobwebs in the corners
turning pebbles
and gathering dew
forsake the burden of resolving
rest in me
moving core, rattling cry
this world is unraveling
all our ancestors witness
as we bare our harvest
mother
I've been using you all my life
I've been milking
your life-sustaining nectar
I've been consuming
your beauty for pleasure
I've been treating
your creatures with ignorance
forgive me
show me how to serve you
as you tirelessly serve all life
your abundance
shakes me to the bones
how
can I ever give back
even a tiny speck of what you provide?
mother
I owe you my existence
teach me
how to be part
of your giving body and heart
grass in the field
doesn't know it is upright and still
wind in the hills
has no intention to race
nor to bend
space
is unaware of holding
anything
you emerge like a landscape
from the fog
I arrive
at the doorstep of your being
will I be able to enter?
will I be welcome?
you are unfolding like a whirlpool
I can't hold
your deep undercurrents
not yet known
are washing my eyes
clean of preconception
all I ask is to taste myself in you
my presence and yours
will bridge this gap
frost and fog
vibrant morning light subdued-
clarity drenched in possibilities
transparency of interwoven fields
a breathing matrix of being
this vibrant life we are
though by strong will
mountains are climbed
the depth of the well
is reached
only through surrender
I am taken by the green grass
the cool air around my nostrils
the ocean is roaring
the tea is steaming
the universe on my tongue
penetrating bottomless
finding comfort in many gardens
partaking in the blooming
going with the autumn leaves
the air doesn't own its smells
feeling lost in this vast universe
empty streets at night
flickering lights
lifting the veil of terror
do we belong?
scattered hearts and minds
smell of spring flowers and smoke
a promise of renewal
flattering maple leaf
lifelong surrender
I feel you loneliness
breathing into my neck
waiting
for the opportunity to bare your teeth
my cosy nest postpones the test
The unavoidable threshold
I am bound to cross
silver luster on the water
air
is pregnant with rain
my skin remembers this contemplation
welcome
the cooling signs of change
a quiet despair hangs in the air
withheld from the greatest gift
"me" feels betrayed
within the changing tides
there are no final statements to be made
a rage inside
swells and subsides at once
aloof I stand
my favorite place
all colours reflected
on the surface
The jewel resting
at the bottom
the body will go
the story will fade
what is truly worth pursuing?
spending time
feeling life flow through my awareness
fine nuances are opening up
sending out a scent
a scent
of something very important
a pasture of goodness
at last
there is meaning in life
everything makes sense
silence outlines my face
I am swimming
in the song of the raindrops
the light
gently caresses the branches of the beech
delicate wings spread
my real face has no name
the horizon
so peaceful
reveals the expanse of
my being
and when I look around
I feel freedom
that lies silently over the grass
the food is waiting
and I go back
to all the contexts that life brings
back ... or yet forward?
the shimmering water
held between sharp cliffs
reminds
of the timeless original state
everything rocks repeatedly
in an inexhaustible rhythm
there is nothing else
the wind
the horizon
the sun
all expressions of a source
that never runs dry
and never tires of repeating all cycles
big and small
here I stand
full of innocence and joy
the image of a girl in woman's dress
there is nothing profane in this simplicity
a timid hint of a smile
harbors the secrets of times past
my feelings
have long fine limbs
are shy and tender
like my loyal companion
surrounded by an aura of serenity
she is present
in the picture and yet hidden
where am I here?
nobody can sing
the song of my heart
time and sweet aloneness
lead me into the chambers
where I drink my own blood
that
which was hidden
in the cracks between cold rocks
when I come to rest
I am blessed
strength flows through me
and everything
becomes pale and hollow
where I am not
only shadows
try to imitate the light tone of eternity
where am I here?
everything flows
I stand still
with empty hands
on the cliffs
my stories roll along
I look
into the abyss of human possibilities
and see black
everything falls silent
only the breath moves
I stand naked
and free
and everything flows by
wake up!
I have set the framework
the stuff
dreams are made of
is like golden bubbles
happiness on demand
you will find behind closed eyes
look beyond the mist
then you will experience
what reality is
white seagulls
black shadows
circling around the bay
screeching
waiting ...
they do not arrive
in this place
where nothing can be touched
every grasping for things
is like scenery wrapped in fog
every step
out of here
is an exhausting attempt to disperse
I stay
where every movement is registered
before it begins
all the battles I've fought
have gone out
in pure consciousness
and so weightless
is the mind that slips
out of space and time
only the eyes
that are not eyes
look into nothing
where everything is
a ride on the train
faraway from everything
my mind stands still
while the black night throws lights
places and faces on the windows
everything that happens here
will never be decipherable
because
it finds its origin
in the eternal grid
of countless possibilities
so why look for motives?
deep clouds hover over me
grey and heavy
"open people's eyes to beauty"
she once told me
all true
is arranged in my world
I like to leave behind
the weight of my past
where am I going again?
the journey
creates new space for
the well-known unknown
I prostrate myself
you cannot escape yourself
the sun goes down
and soaks the country in golden light
I am still here
as always
carry myself everywhere with me
will it ever be different?
the light already shimmers
silver and blue on the lake surface
and I am
still myself
I learn in the confusion of my naughty feelings
my way
leads me past storms
into the silence of the moment
then I sit here
where before
everything seemed to roll over me
Absorbed
in presence
I find the peace that I am entitled to
Art as Resource 